I feel like I keep learning the same lessons over and over again. You'd think I'd learn. Honestly, I get lonely and bored. And seriously there's no need to be that way because I have lots of friends here and I believe a lot of the sisters in my ward feel that way. I think moms in general feel that way often. (the lonely part) I love reading and I love doing projects but right now it's really hard to do some things while my daughter is awake. She's good to entertain herself for a little bit but for the most part she wants my attention, which I'm happy to give and she is entitled to it. My problem- what to do! I can only read the same books and play with toys for so long day after day. Same with going to the stores and to the library. I'm ready for a change. I realize I'm complaining a bit but I just need to write some things out. It's winter time here. The weather is actually pretty good and this last week we even went to the park one day. Our whole family was on cloud nine that day! But for the most part the days have been gloomy and the skies gray. It really starts to take its toll on a person. Today when we walked out of church there was blue sky and the sun was shining. I almost started crying I was so happy. We are ready for blue skies! It just feels like things are getting so routine, so mundane. I'd love to work on some projects but we'll be moving back to ID in 6 months and can only take what we fit in our car and trust me we've accumulated quite a bit of stuff already. there's a lot we're going to have to leave behind. so that's basically it, I get in these "wo is me" moments and it's hard to get out of them! I don't like it.
So on the flip side, I'll read my friends blog who lost her daughter in a tragic accident, or another blog about a man who lost his wife, or hear about families who are really struggling with something and then everything gets put back into perspective and I realize how blessed I am and how good I have it and how happy I should be EVERYDAY. Honestly I get frustrated with myself sometimes. Why is it so easy to forget our blessings? President Hinckley said something to the effect of "when we are unhappy it's usually because we are only thinking of ourselves." How true! Life is good- I know it is! But I feel like this is an ongoing cycle for me. Of course there's things I can do better and I can be more creative- I just need to kick it in gear and do it! I need to call the awesome sisters in my ward and get together with them. They all have amazing talents and gifts that I can learn from. I need to serve. I know there's others who fall into these pits like I do. So, basically that's it. It felt good to get it out and some things came to me as I was writing this down so I feel much better now.
tomorrow is supposed to be almost 60 degrees so I think we're going to go to the park with some friends :)
There is not a mom out there who cannot relate. We all know the feeling. It's so true that when we think of others first, the world is a brighter place. Good for you for including other moms to do things. It just takes that first phone call from someone!!! You are such a blessing to your ward and other ladies out there because you don't hesitate to make that call. I love to look at life through a child's view and all things come into perspective and I feel safe, secure and happy.
ReplyDeleteLove you.
It sounds like we are in the same boat. I know exactly what you mean! We need to catch up. Expect a call from me soon...
ReplyDeleteThis is what I call the February Blahs - it is just a hard time. You're feeling cooped up because it's winter and life just tends to beat us all down a bit during this month. You're so awesome to do things with other people, to count your blessings and to try to find a bright side. In a few years time, when our families are all more settled, I think we need to have an annual girls weekend getaway in February so we all have something to look forward to to get through the February blahs! You're awesome!!!
ReplyDeleteDo you have an organized playgroup in your ward? We get together once a week, and it always gives me something to look forward to. If not, you should organize one. :) You could always make the drive down here (OK, that's probably a bit too far for you to go). I'm glad you have some friends you can call up, though.
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