Mothers Day

I know it's not Mothers Day yet but I have been thinking about my mom a lot in anticipation of Sunday. Wow where to even begin, I have no idea.

To simply put it, my mother is incredible.
She is beautiful, sweet, sooo fun, caring, hilarious, sensitive, loving, tender, and all things good.
I love her with my whole heart.
She is the kind of mom and friend everyone wants to have.

My mom was blessed to be able to stay at home with us kids growing up and it was such a blessing to us kids in return. I have 4 siblings and we are all so close to my mom. No kidding- I'm the youngest, all my siblings are married but we ALL still talk to my mom at least once a day. We are a close family and I love it. :)

My mom is to take a lot of credit for that. She is definitely the heart of the home.
She has always been so supportive, and encouraging of everything good us kids wanted to do growing up. There was never any doubt whether or not family came first, she showed us that we were #1. And to me, hands down the best nurturer out there.

I can't even tell you how many times my mom has been the answer to my prayers. She is so sensitive to the Spirit and will lend a helping hand wherever she can. Selfless is another good word to use to describe my mom.

I know I would not be where I am today without my mom. She is an INCREDIBLE teacher. I have learned so very much through her example and her patience in teaching.

My mom and I do so much together. She is the first friend I call to go do something, the one I can talk to about anything, the one who knows me so well, the one I can always count on, the one I ALWAYS have a blast with.

So Thank you mom, thank you for being so wonderful.

I have so many wonderful memories with you and from you I learned so much of what I know now. I feel so blessed to be your daughter and try to make you proud. I love you more than you know- you are so very special to me. I hope I can be the kind of mother to my children that you are to me.

Happy Mothers Day!!!

Feelings

Wow. I feel like I'm starting to overcome a huge trial. It feels great! And I'll explain how that has come to pass but let me back track a bit. Goodnight- I have been ridiculously down about everything lately. It has stunk. No fun. But I felt like I could not get out of this mode I was in. I'd like to blame it on the weather and although it hasn't helped, I know I'm only to blame. Because happiness is a choice-it's a state of being. Circumstances don't define happiness. But needless to say, I have been really struggling lately. Motivation, self-esteem, confidence, contentment- you name it. It all took a toll on me. I know we all have moments like this- so let me tell you what has helped me out:

I just finished reading a book.

A great book!

It's called Defined by Christ by Toni Sorensen. I loved it. She has a unique style of writing but I truly enjoyed it and it helped me so much.

This lady who wrote the book has had one. hard. life. Anyone who has read the book will know that because she talks about it. She talks about how for so long she let everyone around her and her circumstances define who she was. Then she embarked on a journey and talks about 7 truths (that apply to everyone) she learned in discovering who she really was and how she learned to let herself be defined by Christ only.

Isn't that refreshing? All the worldly pressures can just go out the window! The only person we should let define us is our Savior, Jesus Christ.

I love that.

And when we can learn to be defined by Christ we will have the greatest self esteem, amazing motivation and confidence. Because that is how Christ see's us. He is always rooting us on, always there to help, full of unconditional love.

So, goodbye bad self esteem, no motivation, contentment, and confidence- I know who I am and I've got lots to do! It feels good.

Family

I love my family so very much. I hope everyone does. Everyone deserves a loving family.
This past weekend my husband, daughter and I were able to see every single member of both our families besides one. Totally incredible and it was so fun!!!
I was so blessed to grow up in an amazing family and equally as blessed to have married into the same kind of family. What incredible examples they all are to me in so many different ways. I cherish the relationships I have with all of them and the fun memories.

I've always believed the family unit to be strong and powerful and precious but I don't think I totally realized to what extent and on how many levels that was true until I had my baby girl. She has really helped me put everything into proper perspective and priority. How much I desire the best for her- for all our future children! I want my kids to be best friends, I want them to be close to their cousins, I want them to know and feel they can talk to me about anything, I want them to know how precious they are and how loved they are, and I want them to enjoy family time. The list could go on and on but the world my children will be growing up in is really going to need strong families. I want to be that strong family! I want to be a refuge.
I can make it happen.
I know what the keys are.
I have been taught what to do.
I have the examples to follow.

How blessed I've been!

I have a sign in my home that says: FAMILY the ones we live with, laugh with, love...
I love it!

Families are Forever- how grateful I am for that knowledge. It brings me so much joy!

Life is good!

♫♪Kenneth Cope - Face to Face♫♪

I love Sundays. I absolutely love them. I think most people do. I love that they are specifically set apart and not to be like the other days of the week. I love living in a town that is 90 something percent LDS. The whole town is different on Sunday. There's no hustle and bustle, most of the shops are closed and there is a reverence in the air. It's definitely something I will miss about this town when we move.
I especially love my own home on Sundays. Right now our callings enable us to spend lots of time together as a family so I am trying to soak it all in. I love our calm home. I love that we get to spend the day as a family. I love that my focus needs to be on my Savior the whole day. It's wonderful. Sundays are so pleasant.
One thing I love most is my Sunday music. Oh my goodness what a difference it makes! It feels my home with the Spirit in an instant! I love Sunday music that is soft and soothing, just as it should be.
These are some of my favorites:

Greater Than Us All (the whole CD!)
Face to Face
Consider the Lilies
Everything speaks His name-Jessie Clark Funk
You know better than I-Jessie Clark Funk
Come Thou Fount
Like a Lighthouse-Jessie Clark Funk
This is The Christ
Nashville's a Tribute to the prophet Joseph Smith (the whole CD!)
Oh Lord, My Redeemer-Michael McLean
I heard Him come- Michael McLean

and so many more!

They are all beautiful songs. I love the Spirit they bring to my home.

What are some of your favorite songs?

Colbie Caillat - Killing Me Softly ( iTunes Session )

I love this song. I was super young when this song first came out (originally sung by The Fugees) But I remember my older siblings listening to it so it has some fun memories for me too. Anyway, a little while ago I found Colbie Caillat's version of this song and it's awesome! I love her voice :)

Sheesh

What a day. It has been one of those days. I like to think of myself as a pretty optimistic person but today was just one of those days. It wasn't totally bad... most of it was probably just me.

My sweet girl is having a really, really hard time going to bed lately. I know this is normal but it's my first time round. You can only listen to a crying baby for so long. It's hard and emotionally draining.

I felt helpless. I'd love for her to fall asleep on her own. She was doing great for a while. I'm not sure what happened. I feel like kids do better on a schedule, when they know their boundaries. It's hard to let her cry herself to sleep. Sometimes I get in this "oh she's gotta keep on a schedule and fall asleep on her own and nap times are this and this and this and yadda yadda yadda" kick. Other times I get on the "I don't care what 'the book' says, she's my baby and if I want to spoil her and rock her to sleep I'm going to. She's only little once anyway and time is precious" kick.

Which one is right? I have no idea. I think the trick is balance between the two. Most days I do pretty well. Today, as I said, was just one of those days.

I know this is all really no big deal, that I'll look back and think "Oh Rach, bless your heart!" But as I've said, I'm learning. My sweet daughter and I are learning together.

I remember sitting in a church broadcast a few years back and the lady who was speaking said something to the effect of, "Sometimes it's not the kids who need the timeout- sometimes it's the mom." That was totally me today. I was the one needing the timeout. (sp?)

Someone else once wisely said, "One of the greatest blessings is a night between two days." So true. I love that.

So, I'm off to bed and tomorrow will be a new day!!! (Whew! It's amazing how therapeutic blogging is, right? I already feel better) Life is good!

Moments

Wonderful things have happened lately that I want to make sure I don't forget.

I don't want to forget the way I sat in our rocking chair one calm, quiet Sunday morning a couple weeks ago and just held my baby girl and read books to her. Then I put the books down and she calmly just let me keep holding her and rocking her all while my husbands cello music of hymns was playing in the background. It was a very spiritual moment for me. One of those moments where "all is right in the world." I felt such a powerful connection with my family and such an overwhelming love for them. I love those moments.

I don't want to forget that just this last weekend I got to see the mom of the family I nannied for in CT. It's been 2.5 years since I have seen them and it was so so fun to see the mom! We were both in SLC for a mutual wedding and it was such a fun day! Memories kept flooding back and I just could not be more grateful to this family for letting me be there nanny a few years back. It was a huge growing experience for me in so many ways. As I was with the mom throughout the day I felt so much love for her and the whole family. I can't explain it, but that whole day was totally incredible.

Tonight my husband and I finished reading the Book of Mormon for the third time together. We have been very very consistent in making sure we do our family scripture study every day. I could probably count on one hand the days we have forgotten to read scriptures in the last 2 years and almost 4 months that we've been married. I don't want to forget the way we looked at each other tonight and just smiled. Words didn't have to be said. It was a feeling of pure joy, a feeling of knowing we're doing the right thing. We were so proud of ourselves. I'm so grateful for such an incredible husband who has helped me understand better and learn more about the scriptures. And now that we have a baby girl we always make sure to read the scriptures before we put her to bed. Even though she is young it's very important to us that our daughter is with us when we read the scriptures. I know she can feel the Spirit.